Monday, September 18, 2006

Mmm-mmm

I just found a chicken in my freezer I never knew I had. Poor thing must have wandered in there one day and let the door shut behind it.

Friday, September 15, 2006

By special request

The now gainfully employed Mr Dixon rags on me to write a new post, my previous headline having outstayed its welcome. He’s got a point, but I got nothing, being just about the most lazy-assed, procrastinatory bastard I know.

In the last six weeks I should have written a bible for a six part series, and made headway on a sample episode, as part of a challenge laid down by Piers. Himself, William and Katherine have all written up terrific and very different concepts, and I can’t wait to read their scripts. I’ve missed every milestone on the way so far, but fear of humiliation made me step up this week. The bible’s taking shape, and I’ve got two weeks to crank out an episode. If When that’s done, it’s fourteen day screenplay time again at the start of October. Motherfuck. My effort from last time ‘round’s still lying about, waiting for another pass. Actually managed to get some industry feedback on the bugger. The famous Mr Moran (yes, really, we have to call him Mister now) may be too busy to read scripts these days, what with being an all-star screenwriter and all, but at least I can say he read one of mine, back in the day. Up to page 42 at any rate. You don’t want to know what I had to do to make him get that far. I’m still walking with a stoop.

I told myself in January to write four screenplays this year. Still time.

I love The Wire. Love it, I tell you, with unnatural lust. I love its constant reinvention, love its scope, love Bubbles and Omar and, most of all, hoping against all the available evidence he’ll eventually get something right, I love Prez.

Hours have been wasted trying to convert this template to work with Blogger’s new beta. There are some great improvements on the current system, but Moses, it’s flakey. Don’t know if you noticed, but there’s a new version of iTunes - nice to see Apple actually bought another company’s idea, rather than just snatch it bandit style. Don’t hold your breath waiting for TV shows and movies, fellow non-Americans.

I’ve applied for a new job. There is no chance in hell I’ll get it, but when I saw the ad I knew I had to give it a shot just so that I could say I’m trying. Don’t ask me what it is, though. The description was so vague, I’m really not sure what I’m sending away for. The hiring company in question are seeking:

someone with a strong visual imagination, who is happy to work collaboratively within our Origination Team.
The person should have:
        •        A sense of audience
        •        A sense of performance
        •        A sense of innocent comedy
        •        The ability to write stories within the disciplines of the television production process


Sounds perfect, whatever it is.

Wish me luck if you like, but given my level of experience it’s going to take more than luck to land this. Pray for me, maybe, because right now I can’t find anything else I want the fuck to do.

There you go, Will. More soon. Maybe.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Fuck Black People

So, did BBC2’s Shoot the Messenger send you scrambling to join the BNP on Wednesday night?

No, me neither, although sadly I will admit that I did feel a certain sneering contempt begin to poison my mind amidst all the jibes at hair extensions, decorated nails, African names and gospel. Another chance to look down on people who aren’t like me.

But that was my problem, not the writer’s.

I realised I was being a dick, and stopped.