Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The more things change...

10 years ago today

I’m going to have to book an appointment with Louise, in order to spend some time with her. Even though we live together, I can’t get her alone and I can’t just leave things to fade.

I never expected this to work.

5 years ago today

I spent a while staring at the mirror last night, trying to look myself in the eye to see if there was anything there. I decided. I don’t feel twenty-five. I don’t feel grown-up, like an adult. I don’t feel like a man.

I don’t know what I was expecting. Something I could add to myself, to extend myself. Something I could use to define myself. I couldn’t see, or feel, anything. Only my reflection. There is only me, and not much of that.

Fun times! I may make this a regular series. Louise, by the way, is doing very well, a producer on high-profile Radio One shows. We haven’t spoken in years.

Once, I could have gone back fifteen years, but I threw those away in a fit of pique. Count yerselves lucky.


  1. Dude...can you spin it a little more positive if you wrote something about about one week ago today?

    Your version of '5 Up'

  2. One week ago: everyone at work has found my blog. Very strange to be looking over someone's shoulder to find them peering over mine. I live in a tiny, tiny universe where looking straight ahead I can see the back of my own head. Hope I've been discreet; better check. Christ, did I write that? Delete. Delete or be fired!

    Feeling quite self-conscious now.

    Get home from work, estate agent has planted "For Sale" board in my garden. You've been evicted, get over it. Can't get in my house because I've left keys at work. Walk back in the rain to get them. Maybe next time I'll choose somewhere closer. Home again, soaking wet. Sneeze alot.

    So much for positive spins.

  3. How's the house/flat hunting going?

  4. Not too bad. Finding it hard to budget, because no-one will tell me what my salary is, but there are quite a few places available so I should be alright. I won't start looking seriously until early next month, as I don't need anywhere until January.

    My brother's taking an HGV test next week, so if he can borrow a truck from work at least I'll have cheap help moving.

  5. Sorry I asked...seriously.

    Yes - someone or ones from the show I'm on has found the blog. Don't know who though. I've been pretty careful not to trash and burn, but still...looking over the shoulder a lot lately - "why are they whispering!" sort of feelings.

  6. Get home from work, estate agent has planted "For Sale" board in my garden.

    Put a sign in your window that reads "Say No to the Bypass".

    That should guarantee a roof over your head for a while longer.

  7. No need to be sorry. It's good to look back on these things years later and think: "ha! And you thought things were hard then! Suffer, little monkey puppet. Dance while I tug your strings of pain." And so forth.

    Hmm. That veered away at the end there, and didn't turn out to be as motivating as I was expecting.

  8. Stephen, I've been eating a lot of fish lately and not emptying the bin. Seems to be working.

    Plus, I can swim twelve lengths under water. Or could, until I got banned for snapping at dangling bikini threads.

  9. Put a sign in your window that reads "Say No to the Bypass".

    Oh, good one. I might suggest that to a friend to try.

    Though he does live on the eighth floor of a block so it might not he that effective.