Don't come crying to me about spoilers
That's mine. Sorry.
The Parrot (but not the sketch)*sent to me via email*A screenwriter receives a parrot for his birthday. The bird is fully grown, with a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every other word out of his beak is an expletive. The writer tries hard to change the parrot's behavior: he says polite words, plays soft music, anything he can think up, to set a good example. Nothing works.He yells at the bird, and the bird yells back. He shakes the bird, but the bird just becomes more angry and rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments, he hears the bird squawk, swear, and scream. Suddenly, there's a deathly quiet. The guy's frightened, thinking he might have injured the bird, so he quickly opens the freezer door. The parrot calmly steps out onto the writer's extended arm, and says, "I believe I've offended you with my rude language and behavior. I will endeavor at once to correct this problem. I am truly sorry, and beg your forgiveness."The writer is astonished at the bird's dramatic change in attitude, but before he can say anything, the parrot continues, "Might I ask what the chicken did?" An explanation, perhaps... Shell :)
where the f*ck are you?Did you choke on that chicken?Beuller? Beuller?
I reckon Lee's got his head down working hard on the pilot/bible combo for midnight Saturday.That or some kind of terrible, horrific accident.It's a toss-up, really.
or a pilot/bible about a horrific accident...
Horrible accidents happen to other people. My fate is golden.Still, Midnight Saturday?HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!Not. Going. To happen.I've got most of a bible, and an almost outline, but I had to admit it was never going to be finished in time. The choice then was whether to limp over the finish-line, late, or start a new race.I'm going to take what I've got and use it in the 14 day screenplay, starting at midnight on Saturday. Two months was too long, it invited indolence. An adreneline fuelled two weeks is more my style.I'm also going to do a mini-Guyot. I've been surprised this week how much I can actually fit into a day when I don't spend half of it on the web. I'm going underground for a couple of weeks.A curious placeholder post, this frozen poultry nonsense, but I may return to this comment thread to keep youse all updated. I want to feel like I'm really getting something done before I start regular blogging again (as if I've ever been that regular). Got to be active off-line first, to justify an on-line presence.Sorry about the Bible, Piers. It was a great idea for a challenge, but I fluffed it. Hey-ho. The script is dead, long live the script.I'll be back, to tell you what I do to the bird. All receipe suggestions will be gratefully received.
Here y'go. Courtesy of my mum. Chicken with Honey and Orange Gravy.1 small/medium chickenJuice 2 oranges. I often cheat & use 1/4 pint of bought juice.1 orange peeled with a sharp knife to remove peel & pith, and cut into rings.Orange zest cut from peel of above, boiled for 1 minute and refreshed in cold water( Best done with a zester before peeling orange)1/4 Pint chicken stock1Tbsp honey1Tbsp lemon juice1Tbsp cider or wine vinegar2 Cloves1 Tbs plain flour 1. Brown chicken all over in a little butter or oil and place in a casserole. 2. Make up orange juice to 1/2 pint with chicken stock.3. Stir in Honey,lemon juice, cider, cloves and pour over chicken.4. Bake 11/2 hours at gas mark 4 (180)until tender.5. Pour off sauce& remove cloves.6. Blend flour with water. Stir into sauce and bring to boil for 1 minute. (I cheat and use thickening flour)7. Pour sauce over chicken & garnish with zest & orange rings.This was my favourite meal in the world when I was a young'un.