Monday, July 31, 2006

The madness begins again

Ha’n’t it been warm? July passed me by in a succession of soggy days and sticky nights. I knackered my hip playing football, and almost broke my nose. My old friend Mark went missing, and then turned up in Paris. I rescued a mad drunken girl from a malevolent locked lavatory. Fed-up of feeling fed-up, I prescribed myself St John’s Wort to try and clear my more or less fifteen year melancholy, and when the fog lifted, decided I really hate my job. David got married and I had a wonderful weekend acting as best man, fretted about my speech for weeks and then got through it in three minutes to laughter and applause. Maybe I’ll try and YouTube that, if I ever get a copy.

Throughout this, the blog, like my garden, took on a sick yellow tinge and began sporting cracks that’d swallow a cat. Most of my visitors now come from Google, following search strings such as:
        • frightened of dying
        • scat maniac
        • it hurts your cock is too big
        • does wanking make your stomach hurt
and, bewilderingly:
        • what is on seeing the elgin marbles by keats about

As I write, I’m an hour away from August, which, socially, is going to take an even greater toll than July. This month I’ve done practically no writing that wasn’t speech writing. In August, though, I have a mission.

If you thought the two week screenplay was a mad idea, wait till you get a load of the two month TV series. This challenge, initiated by Piers, begins in 50 minutes, and ends on the 30th September. The two month series involves a group of UK writer-types who must each start from scratch to come up with a bible and sample episode for a primetime 6x60min drama. Just as with the two week screenplay, I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I have an 18 year old bottle of Glenmorangie to help me out, and I’ll try and keep you all up to date on the progress. Promise.

Category: Uncategorised

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Crafty reading

So I’m the most recent reader to have finished Alex’s eagerly awaited Crafty TV Writing.

Well, I say finished, but truthfully I skipped almost a third of it. Chapters six through nine, Preparing to be a TV Writer to Moving Up the Food Chain: Writing on Staff were simply not relevant to me, either because I live in the UK, or I’m not at a point where I can take advantage of the advice. I fully expect to get around to them at some point, as my writing and (hopefully) career (hopefully) develop.

This doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I’ve got my money’s worth now. There is so much meaty mind-food in Parts One and Two, particularly chapter four, Bad Writing and How to Fix It (Or at Least Get Away With It), that I’m sure pages will be falling out before long due to frequent re-reads.

Good stuff.

Next: Christopher Booker’s The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories. This is a thick, thick book with teeny tiny writing, and will take me the rest of the year to read, but I was hooked before I’d finished the introduction in the shop, and had to have it. I will let you know if it was worth it. In 2007, sometime.

Category: Books and Comics


England’s performance yesterday was woeful; but having just now played an hour of football in similar heat, I feel for them. I may have to spend the rest of the day in a cold bath.

At least RTD bought his game to Doctor Who last night. When the Cybermen admitted they hadn’t built that sphere, I thought, oh no, they’re not going to go there again are they? And then they did, and fuck me, it was awesome.

Category: Movies and TV