Saturday, June 17, 2006


I may be a frustrated perpetual masturbator, but at least I don’t have a paving slab for a girlfriend.

“We even have a lovelife.”

Get that twisted shit off my screen now!

Category: Movies and TV


  1. They tried something that failed - I truly can't fault them for that, but I can fault them for the tongue-in-cheek nature of the episode. They broke the template (using terms from our pal Alex Epstein)of the show and it showed.

    In addition, Marc Warren is an excellent actor, but whenever I see him, I also see Danny Blue. He was a poor choice to cast.

    I do love my ELO though, and especially "Mr. Blue Sky."

  2. Have to disagree with you on everything but the ELO part. Though I always dug Horace Wimp, myself.

    Sure Love and Monsters was a template buster, but it wasn't completely tongue in cheek, in fact I thought some of it was very dark indeed. And to take a gimmick show, built around a monster designed by a nine year old, and include Doctor Who's first oral sex gag (sic), shows a healthy subversiveness on RTDs part. I went from laughing merrily to "oh my god, that's just wrong," within seconds.

    Traditionally, Russell Davies' episodes have been the weakest of the run, and this one was tonally all over the place, but I thought it held together, alternating bitter/sweet pretty well. The only bit that truly didn't work, was the "I was there the night your mum died, and you forgot," which was just too much of a Life on Mars moment for me.

    Coincidentally, next week's is written by Matthew Graham.

    Sounds like you're suffering from a case of the Carmela problem (TM DMc), regarding Marc Warren. You may not have seen that much of him in the USA, but he's rarely been off my screen for very long over the last 15 years. I thought he was excellent. If there's anyone who shouldn't have been cast, it was Peter Kay, but as Doctor Who stunt casting goes, at least it's not as bad as Hale and Pace.

    So a memorable episode, if not a great one. Narratively it broke the template, but thematically it was very much a Doctor Who episode and a development of what has come before. I enjoyed it, if only for proving that Jackie has somehow wandered onto Doctor Who from a completely different show and decided to stay.

    Some of the foreshadowing was a bit anvillicious, but when I realised during the Doctor's first encounter with Elton, in that tacky old living room, there was no sign of Rose, I got a few chills. What with that and all the spoilers put out by the media this week regarding Billie Piper and season three, I'm all agog for the final run of episodes.

  3. I can't decide whether I loved it or hated it.

    It's so different from the usual run of DW that my head still needs some time to process it...

    Either way, a brave decision and I'm glad they did it.

  4. Another big mess. It gives me no pleasure to say that, every week I sit down hoping for it to knock my socks off. The dead mum bit felt like it was supposed to be a big shock, but there was no build up to be surprised about.

    I just wish they'd stop with the fucking lame jokes, it's embarrassing - what was that Carry On shit with the doors at the start? And why did the monster's accent change from posh to Northern? It can be a really funny show ("Dr What?" was great), but there's no need for stupid shit like that. Ruthlessly padded out again, another 25 minutes of story crammed into 45 minutes. If they'd left the girl dead I might have had some respect for the episode, but... so she never ages? What happens when he dies, then? Who looks after her? What if the slab falls over? Will she suffocate? Doesn't have any lungs though. Can she swallow without a stomach??

    It just keeps getting undermined by the kiddified humour, feels like I'm watching Basil Brush sometimes. Please kill people off, put a bit of darkness back into it. Even the Satan Pit was ruined by shit jokes.

  5. So two nays, a yay and a maybe for Doctor Who's take on Buffy's Storyteller episode, or the earlier The Zeppo. While sadly not of that class, it was at least better than B5's A View from the Gallery.

    Does this mean they'll be doing a Rashomon episode at some point? Because they'll never be able to beat the animated Batman's take on it.

    And I also thought the Scooby Doo chase was shit. But I loved, loved all the scenes with Jackie, and believe me, that's a first.

  6. I just felt it was super-silly when the monster is running down the street at us in broad daylight looking not so much like an alien, but "Beelzebubba". Give him a ten gallon hat and a Texas twang and he's every kid's demonic best friend. Sigmund and the Sea Monsters run amuck...and that is a lot of "amuck."

  7. I'm going to say one thing and one thing only. And it's scarier than Peter Kay in his pants.

    DR WHO has always sucked ass. Always. The only difference is, you were kids when it was last on. Now you're grown ups. Grown ups who dig SCRIPTWRITING. Of course it's gonna be shit in comparison, your brains now understand the nature of narratives and film-making and monsters don't look REAL any more, which is ironic given it's all CGI-whatnot now instead of cardboard.

    I came to this conclusion and I cried for three days and had to text myself thirty three times on my landline just to hear Tom Baker's voice. But it is all over my friends. You must let Dr Who go, into the BBC archives where he belongs...

    I agree with James tho - what WOULD happen if the paving slab with that girl from Harry Potter fell over?? I lay awake worrying about it all night.

  8. Apostate! Blasphemer! Burn! Burn!

    Seriously, though, I'm afraid there's absolutely no possibilty of me agreeing with you. Now, I can kind of understand your viewpoint, what with you being a child of the Colin Baker era, but since the new series began I've watched some of the DVD releases of earlier stories, and some of them, even - gasp - the black and white ones, have been terrific.

    So you're wrong.

    So there.

    Take that.

  9. COLIN BAKER! How dare you. I was always a Peter Davison girl.

  10. When I saw COLIN BAKER in capitals, I imagined you putting on your best Edith Evans impression while typing it, which made me chuckle.

    And, you know, Colin Baker really has done a magnificent job in the Big Finish audio plays, he was never really given a chance to oh take me out back and shoot me.

  11. It hasn't always been shit - I loved the last season with Ecclestone (apart from the comedy farting aliens), and I loved the Girl in the Fireplace. As for the rest of this season, it's gone all silly and childish. "Family entertainment" means something the whole family can enjoy, it doesn't mean stupid shite that only 5 year olds will like. Now take it back, or we'll kick you out of the Super Sci-Fi Geek Club.

  12. well done on completing the screenplay - you mind if i cruise through it, having only just landed on your slong recently?

  13. not your slong, your blog...yeesh

  14. What a strange and worrying malapropism. By all means take a cruise, but keep moving - linger too long on any page and your eyes will begin bleeding.

  15. SLONG!! Sounds like a Freudian slip if you ask me. And will I take it back? Hmmmm...let me think....


    ; )

  16. James, what has happened to your blog? It seems to have fallen into the void.

  17. Lee: May I refer you to my last post which mentions my MASSIVELY fucked tendon in my wrist, hence the lack of updates for a while?? I am shocked and dismayed at the lack of public outpourings of sympathy for me. I may start a separate blog,

  18. Your case of wanker's cramp is not the issue here, though I do sympathise, and probably have some cream that can help.

    I mean that your blog has gone. Just...gone. On three separate browsers this morning, there's been nothing but a stark, white, page.

    Is anyone else seeing this, or was it something I said?

  19. Please don't offer me "cream" in the same sentence as "wanking". People might suspect our forbidden love.

    Blimey, it was gone, wasn't it? I just did a republish of the index, and it seems to back in one piece. Phew. Cheers, wanking bloke!

  20. people - get over it

    ive been a cassandra since the first ep. it sucks. worse -- its sucks more and more with every episode. its no buffy ..its no b.s.g. christ its not even a b5. The new dw is missing 1 key ingredient. originality. there is no heart. there is no jeopardy. there is only a faded photocopy of the originial

    let it r.i.p.