Sunday, November 27, 2005

The mysterious edits of fans

I’ve just got hold of a curiosity entitled The Matrix UnZionized. This unholy entity is an attempt by certain parties to right the wrongs visited upon them by the Wachowski brothers and their hideously mis-stepping Matrix sequels.

It is these “fans’” understanding that everything wrong with the films can be blamed upon the decision to spend more time focussed on the perils of Zion than on Neo’s journey towards messiah-hood.

Edited together, supposedly with all the crap removed, Matrices Reloaded and Revolutions still demand more of your time than they deserve: a hair under three hours. Really, I’m sure I could have got it down to at least thirty minutes, and still kept most of the story’s heart intact. Hell, less than that.

But what would be the point? I suppose it must be kind of empowering to take a shit-hundred million dollar movie and declare that you can make it better. Hubristic too. But also refreshing that someone is willing to wrest control of The Matrix, or Star Wars, Star Trek, The Lord of the Rings - there are plenty of these things about - from its creators and declare their intention to re-write canon for the benefit of a (misbegotten?) community.

Sadly, in the case of The Matrix R&R, you cannot make a silk purse from a sow’s ear. If a couple of crappy dance scenes and wardrobe leftovers from the original Battlestar Galactica were all that was wrong with these films, then mere excision could indeed make right these incoherent examples of cinematic guff. Neither film is improved by the edits, except in that they are both made shorter, and it seems to me that in simply choosing to remove a sub-plot the group of re-editors have merely made the movies’ many flaws even more evident.

In fact, now that I think of it, maybe I’ll just run it through Final Cut myself. If we can all be editors now, why bother writing?

Category: Movies and TV

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