Friday, August 19, 2005

The Onion gets personal

I've been reading The Onion for quite a few years now, and don't remember it ever being quite this...full on.

Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit to Wife's Vagina

WASHINGTON, DC—Amid rumors of sagging morale on the home front, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld greeted his wife Joyce Monday with an unanticipated visit to her vagina, according to the Pentagon...

...The visit comes at a time in which controversial rumors have spread throughout Washington about low morale on the part of Mrs. Rumsfeld. Reports from confidantes indicate that her vagina is being undersupplied by the Department of Defense, and extended tours of duty have stirred up feelings of discontent. Although the two have faithfully served one another since 1954, Secretary Rumsfeld's busy schedule and demanding obligations have prevented him from visiting the fertile crescent since last November's highly publicized surprise visit...

...When asked about future plans for his wife's vagina, Rumsfeld grew somber.

"This vagina has seen a lot of action," Rumsfeld said. "And much of its infrastructure has fallen into disrepair. I do believe, however, that my wife's sustained efforts under my direction will ultimately allow us to re-establish order in this troubled area."


Have they gone too far, do you think? Why does reading this make me feel so soiled? Is it wrong of me to prefer Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory?

Category: Computing and Web

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